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Selena Gomez’s documentary records the darkest moments of her life that she doesn’t have the courage to watch again.

At the Universal Music Group Music & Health conference, Selena Gomez recalled the documentary about her life called My Mind & Me. Accordingly, she admitted that she did not dare to watch this footage again because she could not face the pain anymore.

“There was a long time when I didn’t know if this documentary was a good idea,” Selena Gomez began her speech, “I knew I wanted to be an actress but I didn’t know it would destroy everything in my life.”

“I felt like I had to say things that I’ve kept hidden for years. It’s hard to watch this documentary again. I’ll never watch it again, but I’m very proud of it,” the former Disney star admitted.

My Mind & Me was released last November and received a lot of attention from fans. The film gives an insight into the most difficult years of Selena Gomez’s life, which included her lupus and her struggle with mental illness. The film also addresses her past “toxic” relationship with Justin Bieber, which received a lot of sympathy from the audience.